Listen to Your Parents, But Don’t Try to Please Everyone
Every season, the same three concerns rise to the top:
Not enough playing time
The same kids playing both sides of the ball
Parents wanting to choose their child’s position
These aren’t new issues, and they’re not going away. The key isn’t to ignore them, but to handle them the right way.
1. Playing Time: Where Development Meets Accountability
I’ve been that parent.
My oldest son started football at 8 but had to play up an age group until he was 11. There were challenges, but there was also a system: he showed up to every practice, every game, and over time, he earned more playing time.
Attendance + Attitude + Effort = Opportunity.
Then came my youngest son, and a completely different experience.
He was at every practice, on time, doing what was asked. But during practices, he was often sidelined. During games, he barely got his minimum plays. It became clear the issue wasn’t effort, it was coaching.
What started as excitement turned into frustration. Eventually, my son went from wanting to be like his older brother to hating the game entirely.
I tried addressing it the right way, quiet conversations, respectful feedback, but it went nowhere. The responses were dismissive:
“You don’t understand how much time we put into this.”
“If you don’t like it, go somewhere else.”
It escalated. One game, after watching multiple kids, including mine, being talked down to, I spoke up:
“It starts with the coaches.”
That moment could have gone worse than it did. Emotions were high, and while it didn’t turn physical, it was a situation I’m not proud of. The next day, the board stepped in, held a parent meeting, and quickly uncovered the real issue: a breakdown in leadership, communication, and accountability.
That experience reinforced something important:
Not every parent complaint is noise. Some are signals.
If you’re in leadership, you have to be willing to listen, and more importantly, investigate.
2. Playing Both Sides: Talent vs. Favoritism
Let’s be honest, when kids are playing both offense and defense, it usually comes down to one of two things:
They’re one of the best players on the team
Or there’s influence involved (coach’s kid, relationships, etc.)
Every organization wants to believe favoritism doesn’t exist. But sometimes, it does.
I’ve seen it firsthand.
One season, a head coach insisted on playing his son on both sides of the ball, in positions he hadn’t earned. It cost us games and, more importantly, trust. Parents noticed. Kids noticed.
By the time changes were made, the damage had already been done.
Midway through that season, I stepped in as head coach. We didn’t suddenly become a championship team, but something more important changed:
The culture.
The kids played harder. The coaches were more aligned. The energy shifted.
Winning matters, but how you win, and how you lead, matters more.
3. Positions: Parents vs. Coaches
Parents will always have opinions about where their child should play. Sometimes they’re right. Often, they’re biased.
That’s human nature.
But determining positions isn’t about preference, it’s about fit, safety, and team success.
Putting a player in the wrong position doesn’t just hurt the team, it can put that child at risk.
That’s why decisions must be rooted in:
Attendance + Attitude + Effort + Talent
Not favoritism. Not politics. Not pressure.
And yes, those decisions won’t always make everyone happy.
The Balance: Listen, But Lead
Here’s the reality:
You should listen to your parents, but you cannot lead by trying to please all of them.
Strong organizations don’t operate on popularity. They operate on standards.
I follow a simple rule:
Don’t complain unless you’re willing to help fix it.
That mindset is what took me from a frustrated sideline parent to an interim head coach, to now serving as president.
Because the more I saw things that needed to change, the more I realized, someone had to step up.
At the end of the day, this isn’t about adults.
It’s about the kids.
It’s about developing young athletes into disciplined, respectful, and resilient individuals, on and off the field.
And that starts at the top.
When leadership, coaches, board members, team managers, and even parents, struggles to do what’s right, the team will reflect it.
But when leadership is aligned, accountable, and committed?
That’s when real development happens.
