Youth Football Isn’t Broken. The Adults Are.

Three weeks into the regular season, and we are already seeing a disturbing pattern in youth football.

And before anyone gets defensive, this isn't about one organization, one team, one coach, or one incident.

It's about a culture that, in too many places, is being allowed to become normal.

Youth football isn't broken. The adults are.

We've had reports and incidents involving altered birth certificates. We've seen 10-year-old players spit on their hands at the end of a game and then try to shake cheerleaders' hands. We've had coaches follow officials to their cars and, in one case, open an official's car door to "show them they made the wrong call."

Police are being called to youth football events almost every weekend.

And here's the part that should embarrass all of us:

It's not the kids the police are being called on. It's the adults.

Then we turn around on Saturday afternoon and wonder why our kids don't show enough sportsmanship.

How could they?

Kids are products of their environment.

They watch what we do far more than they listen to what we tell them.

You can't scream at an official, threaten another parent, justify cheating, excuse fighting, or celebrate disrespect and then expect a 10-year-old to understand what sportsmanship means.

We tell kids to respect the game while adults are showing them that respect only matters when things go their way.

We tell them to play with integrity while hearing phrases like:

"You ain't trying if you ain't cheatin'."

Where's the integrity in that?

Where's the lesson?

And what exactly are we teaching a child when winning becomes more important than doing things the right way?

I recently watched a video posted by someone within a youth organization asking kids which one of their coaches would be most likely to get into a fight.

Think about that for a second.

We have adults who are supposed to be role models being turned into entertainment because everyone knows which coach is most likely to lose control.

That's not leadership.

That's not toughness.

That's not building young men and women.

That's adults normalizing behavior that we would immediately punish a child for displaying.

And then there are the situations where coaches look the other way when their own players are involved in fighting because the coaching staff can't even get on the same page about how to handle it.

That's a problem.

Not just for that team.

For every kid watching.

Because kids learn very quickly what behavior has consequences and what behavior doesn't.

And unfortunately, sometimes the biggest problem is when the kid is the best player on the team.

If a star player gets treated differently because the team "needs him," the lesson isn't lost on the other kids.

The lesson is:

If you're good enough, the rules don't apply to you.

That's incredibly dangerous.

Because eventually that kid learns that talent is more valuable than character.

And that's not what youth sports should be teaching.

Youth football should be teaching discipline.

Accountability.

Teamwork.

Resilience.

Respect.

Leadership.

Integrity.

How to win without becoming too arrogant.

How to lose without becoming a poor sport.

How to compete fiercely while still respecting the person standing across from you.

That's the game I want our kids to learn.

And yes, I believe youth football should be tough.

I believe kids should be challenged.

I believe competition matters.

I believe losing should hurt a little.

I believe kids should learn that nothing is given to them.

But toughness isn't being the loudest person on the sideline.

Toughness isn't intimidating officials.

Toughness isn't cheating.

Toughness isn't fighting.

Toughness isn't protecting a player from consequences because he's your best athlete.

And toughness certainly isn't an adult losing control in front of children.

Real toughness is having the discipline to do the right thing when doing the wrong thing would be easier.

Real toughness is accepting an official's decision even when you believe they're wrong.

Real toughness is holding your own player accountable.

Real toughness is telling your kid, "You were wrong," instead of finding someone else to blame.

Real toughness is being willing to lose the right way rather than win the wrong way.

And this is where every organization has to take a hard look in the mirror.

This cannot be about power.

It cannot be about ego.

It cannot be about who has the biggest program.

It cannot be about protecting reputations.

It cannot be about winning at all costs.

And it certainly cannot be about adults treating youth football like a place to prove themselves.

I've even heard that people are betting on youth football.

Think about how far we've allowed this to go.

These are children.

They are not professional athletes.

They are not commodities.

They are not entertainment for adults who need something to argue about.

They are kids who should be allowed to play, compete, make mistakes, learn and grow.

The entitlement has to go.

The excuses have to go.

The "that's just football" mentality has to go.

And most importantly, the double standards have to go.

There need to be standards.

And there need to be consequences when those standards aren't met.

Not just for one organization.

Not just for one coach.

Not just when it's convenient.

Everyone.

Every organization.

Every coach.

Every parent.

Every player.

Every administrator.

Every official.

If the standard matters, it has to matter consistently.

You cannot demand discipline from kids while allowing adults to behave however they want.

You cannot preach sportsmanship while rewarding unsportsmanlike behavior.

You cannot talk about character while looking the other way when your best player breaks the rules.

And you cannot claim that it's "all about the kids" if your decisions are really about winning, power, ego, money or protecting yourself.

If we genuinely want to fix youth football, the answer isn't complicated.

Make it about the kids again.

Make the adults accountable.

Make the standards clear.

Enforce the rules consistently.

Stop making excuses.

Stop protecting bad behavior.

Stop rewarding people simply because they win.

And start rewarding the things we supposedly tell our kids matter most.

Character.

Integrity.

Discipline.

Respect.

Sportsmanship.

Because the scoreboard will eventually be forgotten.

The trophies will collect dust.

The season will end.

But the lessons these kids learn from us?

Those can stay with them for the rest of their lives.

Youth football doesn't need to be saved from the kids.

It needs to be protected from the adults who have forgotten why the kids are there in the first place.

It's time to clean it up.

Not because one organization needs to look better than another.

Not because one coach needs to win an argument.

Not because somebody needs more power.

But because our kids deserve better.

They deserve adults worth looking up to.